Friday, January 14, 2005

Apology accepted?

I have a strong urge to apologize for bad talking my boyfriend yesterday. I was drowning in a pool of fury and said things that harmed him. He has to understand this is one of my many ways to vent anger and I don't always mean what I write... I guess it's better regretting what I write than looking him straight in the eyes and saying something I'll regret later. Although he always hears what I say, he doesn't always read what I write. After he finished playing his video games he went to bed, I started watching a movie and eventually fell asleep on the couch. He came to get me at 4ish to tell me to come to bed. I love the way we can't sleep without eachother. So we finally talked about things and he told me he loved me like I've never heard it before... So honest and passionate he was. Although I know it;s in his personality to be jealous and a little bit of jealousy is better than none, he said he would try to tame this emotion. I find he needs to let go of it a little since it does show insecurities... And afterall we've been together for over a year and have passed many tests... Why should he be insecure and paranoid if we are living together, spend everyday together, and are making plans to fully and officially move in together any month now! Phil I love you but you need to control your jealousy and you need to surpass your insecurities!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Fight # 47

I hate this... same shit different week... insomnia, restlessness... urg... I feel so angry I just want to go outside and yell as loud as I can. Actually as we were fighting before in the living room an urge to throw the remote at him overcame me. I wanted to sleep on the couch. Now he's there playing his stupid video games. He totally embarassed me in front of friends I see once a year. Too jealous to even try to get to know their names. I look like I have the rudest and coldess boyfriend. Not very impressed. Why should I make excuses for his stupid behavior? I am so annoyed of this... I write him two nice love emails and what do I get? Not one phone call and just a meanigless kiss at the pub. On top of that if I wasnt going to introduce him to my friends he would have walked right past them. He didnt even want to hang out. Fuck you! You don;t even know or even care what I've been up to all day... I fucking cleaned the apartment I write him nice letters...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

411...

Kimmy past this along to me... It's the first time I actually take the time to fill one in so I want to keep it

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Stacy Kristine Parkinson

2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Blackedy Black… I know: how boring

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Jack Johnson: he’s such a cutie

4. THE LAST THING YOU ATE? All bran flakes with banana… how healthy of me!

5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Sure thing

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Red, my favorite color… the color of love…

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Really cold yet sunny

8. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED ON THE PHONE? Does leaving a message on the answering machine count? I suppose that would be considered talking to myself…

9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Like: no… LOVE: ABSAFUCKINGLUTELY!!!!

10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? How old did I tell you I was?

11. FAVORITE DRINK? Until Friday, gin and tonic. Now, still like wine… and cider

12. HAIR COLOR? Some say green but I like to think I’m as close to my natural color as I’ve been in years… Brunettes do have more fun!

14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No. I have great vision!!!

15. SIBLINGS? How about 4 of them?

16 FAVORITE MONTH? August...my birthday month

17. FAVORITE FOOD? Hard to say… variety is the spice of life

18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Finding Nemo (partly) and The Emperor’s New Groove… in my defense I was babysitting Kaiden and Kerrsen… but then again, I probably forced them to watch them with me

19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Hmmm… that’s a toughy but probably Christmas… friends, family, food, drinks, and oh ya gifts!

20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER? Talk Phil’s ear off…

21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Weird thing… don’t really remember: I guess I have to blame Kimmy for that one… dropped me one to many times… thanks sis

22. SUMMER OR WINTER? What kind of question is that?

23. HUGS OR KISSES? Do I have to choose?

24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Definitely chocolate… no doubt

25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE/E-MAIL BACK? For sure but do we always get what we want?

26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Dunno…
27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Phil… Joe… Moe… all of you… slackers! 28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? With Phil, Joe, and Baboo… such great company!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I’m not telling… stupid hormones…
30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? Now that I think about it… probably tons of dust bunnies… gotta go clean now

31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? Valerie Kim Parkinson: my sis, my blood… my best friend!
32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Went for dinner with my dad, my bro, and my sis… then watched some sex and the city
33. FAVORITE SMELLS? The smell of a camp fire, cinnamon, fresh baked goods

34. WHAT Inspires YOU? Innovativeness and optimism

35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Kimmy… you take all my answers… sharks, wolves, drowning

36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? I have a sweet tooth mainly but I’ll eat anything

37. FAVORITE CAR? Oh what’s the name of it again???

38. FAVORITE FLOWER? Tulips! So simple yet classy

39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? Lost count… I’m a janitor

40. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nope

41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Saturday

42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Can’t really compete with Kim’s supper and wine by the beach in Nice…. Nor Phil’s extreme camping birthday…
43. HOW MANY STATES/Provinces HAVE YOU LIVED IN? Quebec and Manitoba
44. Where were you born? Montreal!!!!!!!!!