Friday, January 07, 2005

I'm broke

I just had a phone interview for an administrative assistant position for what I think may be a HR firm!!! I think it went ultra well. I am not getting my hopes up for I don't even know if this is what I want to do since I had gotten to the point of being unsure of wanting a job or not. During the holidays, I went mad applying for dozens of jobs but finding a "good" part-time job to get me through school is difficult. When I mean good, I mean monday through friday, for less than minimum wage and definately not retail nor flipping burgers. I want an office job, a foot in the door of some sort. Anyhow, the interview went fantastically well. I was sociable, happy, expressed myself well... and there is no better conversation starter then the reason I quit my last job: going backpacking in Europe for two months!!!
Although I did agree to take care of my dads kids every monday. Its a way to see my dad and my brothers and its an occasion to make a bit of money.
Anyhow... bare with my excitement over this preliminary interview... I've only had two or three interview in all and they were basically "can you start now?". I've been lucky in the past to get jobs relying on my contacts...

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Updates, updates, and so more

To retort to my previous blog... I was extremely negative and pessimistic and all those feelings have vanished! Nothing that some chit chat with girlfriends and some make-up sex can't fix!!! Good news is, Phil's doc nor my doc has called therefore things look a little bit brighter! I still am dreading my second colopscopy on the 24th... Until then, senseless to worry.
-School started on Tuesday evenening and I was glad to see some familiar faces. Although my classes seem a little dryer this semester (Operations Management, Analysis of markets, Organizational Behavior, and Management Information Systems) my schedule is sweet! I only have three days of classes since one class is online. I predict I will be very pleased with myself for taking only four classes this time around.
-After spending last weekend stranded up in Ste Marguerite de lesterel, we finally made arrangements for the maintenance guy to sand the road so my poor little car can drive up... My worst nightmare was to pick up my mom at the airport minus her car and to have to wait possibly til spring for the ice to melt. Ends up Phil was able to drive it up the hill on the first try. What an experience: I'll always remember the first weekend of 2005: getting stranded without any food for a whole day til Joe and Jack come rescue us at three in the moring with left over party food... And then spending the next day in the cold trying to break the ice in order to ride up the three deadly icy hills.
-My mom is coming back tomorrow and her car is filthy... And the house is absolutely disastrous... At first, I thought I would help my sister out my cleaning a little, but seeing as she hasn't done one plate of dishes and hasn't cleaned out the fridge nor emptied the garbage... I said fuck it! I have enough with cleaning one place... I'm not taking one step back and cleaning after my sister and her friend. No no... Enough is enough... Phil and I spent three hours here in the entire two weeks and we cleaned up after ourselves... So tough!
-I came back to my moms to do laundry for what seems to be an accumulation of a year's worth... I'm on my third load and there's still tons at home. I also came to print some school stuff out... The twenty year old antique printer needs me to manually feed it one paper by one... And still it insist on jamming! I am hissing at it as I type. Maybe I should name it... How's Cruella?
-Although I am ultra satisfied with all my Xmas goods, I still feel ripped off. Since I had to cancel on my aunts' annual New Years bash because of being stuck up north and since I was with my dad on xmas day, I did not collect gifts from that side of the family. Am I being spoiled?
-After much waiting, I received all my grades... To wrap up: 3 Bs, one C, and one B-. That is by far, the absolute worst semester yet and I fully intend on bringing up my soaring GPA. Some say, it's all about expectations...
-Gotta go... Cruella needs my undivided attention

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Starting the year with a bang!

Slept on the couch for the entire night last night for the first time in our relationship. That alone is significant. Didn't sleep much so my mind is numb, didn't cry all night except for when we finally talked this morning. I feel in a cloud, a dark grey, rainy cloud. He had to leave for work this morning leaving me starring at my coffee mug on the couch with tears in my eyes. I hate that he still calls me honey and babes even when we are fighting. Sure sometimes I do it for him but its only out of pure selfishlessness to please him. Am I in denial? What we have is a close to perfect history and plans for the future... What about everything in between? What about now? Should we not live for the present therefore love for the present and not the past nor the future? I'm not motivated to do anything today... Not the gym, not school... Nothing... I want to avoid all social interaction, I want to stay in bed all day.
How does he expect us to have sex when he says so many sweet words to me during the day while he's at work... He can't wait to see me, to touch me... But then he doesn't act like that when he gets home. He eats dinner that I made him and we hardly talk. How can we have sex when we have nothing to say to eachother? Did he mean what he said in his love email? Is he in denial as well? He hit me where it hurts: comparing our relationship with that of his 5 year failed relationship that he sometimes refers to as a mistake? Are we really heading down the same destructive road?

Monday, January 03, 2005

2004 in retrospect

-officially broke it off with Antoine
-officially started dating Phil and FELL IN LOVE
-adopted Baboo from Phil's aunt, got her in-shape and made her lose major pounds. Although I do bitch about her every now and then for reasons like her taking up too much space in the bed, having to walk her, her constant begging for food, when she walks in the bedroom while we are butt naked and then the door remains open, her stinky breath... I still love her. I am convinced she is trainining us to be better parents. If a dog is so much work I cannot imagine a baby!
-went camping with Phil, Kimmy, and Joe in April. Froze our ass' off, thought we were going to die. Looking back, had a blast.
-helped my dad move out to Hudson. Although it is further away and I don't get the chance to see him that often it's a beautiful house in a quaint neighborhood
-met Phil's parents, brother, and sister
-started this blog
-quit my jobs at Guess and at the University Club
-went backpacking in Western Europe for 2 months with Kimmy. Visited 7 countries and built memories that will never escape me. I can now say I've been to Italy and Spain twice and England, Greece, Switzerland, France, and Portugal once!!!
-went to Stowe twice with Phil. Climbed Mount Mansfield.
-Starred in Moe's movie "Raising Hell". My scream is fantastic, well-practiced but Kimmy and I in the same scene: the mad giggles therefore at least 7 or 8 takes.
-went canoe-camping in St-Agathe des Monts
-took a two week roadtrip with Phil. Drove for almost 4 000 km and visited so many regions of Quebec... I love being a tourist in my own country. We hiked up Mount Albert, les Hautes Gorges in the Charlevoix region, saw the roche perce and almost got swallowed by waves walking there, went to gaspe to swim in the beach with seals and fell asleep to the sound of whales, drove up to the cote nord to sea kayak for three days and to whale watch... Overall unforgettable experience!
-quit smoking (hopefully for good)
-finished my first year at Concordia
-got accepted in the John Molson School of business and successfully finished my first semester
-kind of officially moved in with Phil and Joe
-started playing squash with Phil (gotta work on my soar looser/winner attitude if I want to continue playing
-babysat for my dad and Lianne every Friday last semester. Although they are complete monsters, they can be adorable
-started seeing a counselor, saw her three or four times and haven't seen her in 4 months but I do have a feeling she helped me notice some things about my personality... That's a hole other blog entry but I am getting better in that aspect...
-spent a hectic but a wonderful Christmas with Phil and I's family