Thursday, December 16, 2004


This past couple of days have been somewhat draining. This outburst of paranoid thoughts and the trial to reach conclusions seem to have stopped for now. Good thing Phil didn't go through with his plans to call all his ex-girlfriends asking around for any signs of STDs. It's crazy how a five minute doctor appointment can lead to such silliness. It may be nothing but it could be something. Who knows? We will know in time. Once again, patience is required. Patience that does not exist in me.
I hate the words normal or abnormal now for that matter. Who decides what's normal or not? Those terms are quite subjective and not even slightly medical... gggrrrrr...

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

More poke poke

I got a call yesterday from the ClSC concerning my gyno appointment a few weeks ago. The nurse, giving me little details asked me to come in that same day. In a total state of panic, imagining the worst possibilities, I went. The meeting took 5 minutes and I left with a little piece of paper which was a referral to see a specialist (yup, a special kind of down there doctor). All I was told is that abnormal cells were detected and I need to go get a colopscopy and biopsy done. Great... So paranoid little old me goes on the internet to look up the procedure and these websites were simply throwing scary information at me. Stuff like precancerous or cancerous cells, infections, inflammation, STDs... That's some horrifying info and quite frankly info that I didn't want to know... Not yet anyway... It has sent by brain wondering in places I don't want it going and it has made my heart rate and stress level double.
Anyhow... Fortunately I don't mind having a male doctor. I was able to make an appointment with him next Tuesday instead of in two and a half months. The sooner the better...